


Would Lay on a Bed of Nails

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Mpreg, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-16 21:36:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/866872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Thor are burdened with a doomed romance but despite this, they cannot live with or without the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Would Lay on a Bed of Nails

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, Mpreg is not usually my thing. Neither is Thorki, it is something that I have only recently come across. So, please, be gentle.

Would Lay on a Bed of Nails

 

Positive. 

It's positive. 

Loki slumps forward, his hands resting heavily on his still-flat-stomach. He can feel the life force warming his palm, it’s weak and barely there but he can feel it. His chest tightens and he feels as if he cannot breathe. 

(It cannot be true. It cannot be true. It cannot be true.)

"Well? Loki!”

Thors booming voice snaps him out of his moment of panic. He opens the wash room door and allows the larger man come in. He looks calm but Loki can see the flicker of anxiety in those cerulean blue eyes.

"Well?" he urges once again but he knows.

(Of course he does. Loki is crying now.)

There's a brief moment where neither man knows what to do, what to say. Loki is leaning against the marble walls to his right as tears slide down his cheeks. 

(It's impossible. It's impossible.)

Thor takes a step back and finds himself pressed against the wall behind him. 

"You are sure, brother?"

Loki glares at him angrily.

“I am not your brother.”

(He can feel it. He can feel their baby.)

Thor runs a giant hand through his golden tangles, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards. Loki watches him incredulously and next thing he knows Thor has him pinned against the stone bath, his soft lips kissing every inch of his face.

(He's happy. How could he possibly be happy?)

"Thor?"

Their eyes meet and Thor is the foil to Loki. His eyes are bright with excitement, his cheeks are rosy and his lips are stretched into the most beautiful of smiles.

"It is not ideal."

(Understatement of century.)

"But?" Loki probes.

"But this child is ours and I know that I want to spend the rest of my centuries with you. And we have an heir, Loki. An heir to Asgard."

xox

Thor sits with Loki beneath an old apple tree, one of their favourite places from their youth. Centuries ago, they would sit together beneath the tree and read or sleep or simply just be.

(It's been approximately two hours and fifty two minutes since Loki last spoke.)

"We could kill it.” Thor says softly, not daring to look at the younger prince.

Lokis head spins so quickly that Thor is surprised his neck didn't snap. 

"What?” he hisses, his voice dripping with venom.

(Good. He does not want to… Good.)

Thor reaches across and strokes Lokis cheek with his knuckle. He does not move away exactly but he flinches. Thor attempts to shield the hurt in his eyes but the attempt is futile.

"Loki, can we just-"

Loki's crying again.

(Not just crying. He's wailing.)

"I have no idea what is wrong with me!" he all but shrieks. “Why am I behaving like some desperate Midgardian female?”

Thor sighs and smiles softly.

"Loki-"

"What shall Mother say? And Odin? How do you think he will react? You are the future king of Asgard, consorting with a Jotun and a man who used to be your brother!”

Loki is nearly hyperventilating now, his emerald eyes narrowed like slits, his shoulders hunched over his body.

“They will take our child Thor, they will take it and kill it!”

Thors eyes widen and he shakes his head slowly, refusing to believe it.

(He's scared that's all, he's just scared.)

Lokis loud gasps are the only sounds that fill the courtyard and Thor takes his smaller hand in his. Lokis hands are shaking and he's looking at Thor with big, watery, green eyes.

(He is so beautiful.)

"We could run away?" Thor offers quietly, his thumb rubbing the back of Loki’s hand.

Loki closes his eyes and his bottom lip begins to tremble. 

(Thor wishes he were not so unhappy. He wants Loki to be happy.)

"I am relocating to my chambers now." 

When Loki speaks next his voice is level. 

(Controlled anger. Thor knows this voice only too well.)

"Think about it, Loki." Thor urges as the dark haired prince makes his way to his feet and stalks across the empty courtyard.

He doesn't answer him. 

(Thor prays that his world isn't about to crumble at his feet.)

xox

Loki does not appear for dinner that day. Or the next. Or the one after that. He tells his mother that his unwell.

(He refuses Thor entry to his chambers.)

He sits in his chambers in his green silken under-tunic and stares at the cold marble walls blankly. The mischievous spark in his eyes slowly dulls and he feels as if he is being smothered, as if this child is sucking the life and air from him.

"I demand, as the future king of Asgard, that you open the door to my brothers chambers this instant!” Thor bellows at the guards. 

Loki waits on his bed expectantly. He knew it was only a matter of time before Thor barged his way through.

(He was always so impatient.)

One of the guards sigh loudly and takes a step back. 

"Of course, my Majesty. However, I must insist that this is against prince Lokis wishes."

Loki contemplates blocking the door with some sort of spell but he can feel Thors anger from hear, fizzling and cracking.

(Like lightening. Beautiful, blinding and terrifying.)

The door swings open and Loki suddenly feels like a rabbit caught in the headlights. Thor looks angry and so very hurt. 

"What are you doing?" he grumbles, his voice low and dangerous.

Loki does not answer and swallows the lump building in his throat.

(These blasted hormones!)

Thor watches him furiously and it is only then that Loki realizes he has a tray of cakes in his hands.

"You must eat, you shall not starve yourself or our child.”

Loki can see the vein on his forehead. Thor is vicious. 

(And it's his fault.)

"Thor, I-"

"No! Do not do this, Loki! You are not only one whose life has been turned upside down! I know you seem to take me as some sort of fool, but I cannot help the fact that I love you and our child!”

It takes Loki a few moments to calm himself down enough before he can speak again.

"I am sorry."

(Silence. Awkward, angry silence.)

Thor is still livid as he places the tray down beside Loki. He regards him with stormy blue eyes before nodding. 

"All is forgiven."

(Thor loves him. He really does.)

"Okay." Loki says softly.

Neither of them know what to do for a moment so Loki stands and strides forward a few steps to wrap his arms around Thors waist. He feels strong arms wind themselves around him in return and Thor drops a kiss to the top of Lokis head.

"I do not wish to run away and hide like a coward." 

He mumbles this against Thors warm chest. He feels him inhale deeply. 

"Either do I, Loki. But I do not think that we have been granted a choice."

(That was what he was afraid of.)

xox

It is approximately seventy-six hours, thirty-eight minutes and eighteen seconds before Thor sees Loki again.

(Loki locked himself in his chambers for the rest of the week. Thor worried.)

Loki meets him in the family’s private dining quarters one evening, dressed in his finest tunic.

(And there is a light about him, a certain glow that Thor has never seen before.)

They sit in silence for most of their meal of roasted elk. Thor is famished, as usual, and eats more than his fair share. Loki only picks and nibbles as he pleases.

"Did you go and see the Healer?"

Loki snorts and rolls his eyes.

"Do you think we would be enjoying a meal together if I had? She is bound by duty to inform Odin of everything and anything."

"Sometimes people can surprise us." 

(Thor does not mean for it to sound bitter but Loki is not...Loki anymore. He is much too cold and distant and Thor can sometimes find himself resenting the tiny little creature inside of him that has changed him for the worst.)

Loki holds Thors gaze for a moment before sighing loudly. He runs a hand through his dark hair and grimaces slightly.

(He has something important to say. An announcement.)

"Thor-"

"If you wish to get rid of it, fine. Fine! Anything you want, Loki, just please... Please stop hating me. It is difficult to love you when you behave like this." Thor explodes.

John smiles at him warmly and shakes his head. 

"I know. I am sorry."

(Thor wishes he would stop apologizing. It was strange and most unlike Loki.)

"I know that I have been out of sorts of late but my heart is not as large or as spectacular as yours. I needed time to adjust. I have settled my mind and I am at peace now. If leaving Asgard is the only way in which you and I can safely raise our child, then we should leave.”

Thor knows that Loki does not want to leave and neither does he. It is with a sad resignation that they both had come to accept it.

"It is not our only option. We could tell Mother and Father."

(If only Loki knew how much he would sacrifice. Thor would do anything to see him smile again.)

Loki shakes his head firmly.

"No."

(They will rip it from them. They will take the crown from Thor and cast them aside.)

"Loki."

Thor watches him silently, urging Loki to reconsider. He would run away with Loki willingly, of course he would, but he does not wish for their child to be born into a web of deception. He wants them to be treated like the prince or princess of Asgard that they really are.

“Odin would kill it. They would separate us and cast me into a realm where you would cease to exist.”

"Would that make you happier?"

It's out of his mouth before he even realizes what he's said. Loki frowns in confusion. 

"If your father killed our child?"

Thor swallows hard. 

"No. If I ceased to exist?"

Loki stills for a moment before laughter bursts out of him with such force that the guards turn to look at them. He laughs and Thor grows more embarrassed by the second. 

"Enough, Loki. Enough! It was a stupid question, stop mocking me!” Thor grumbled.

Loki smiles brilliantly and captures Thors hand in his. 

"I love you my stupid, stupid king and the idea of running away with you makes me happier than you could ever possibly realize."

(This baby is a gift. This baby is something that Loki is going to cherish and adore forever. Along with the man who gave it to him.)

xox

They plan their escape flawlessly.

(Well, Loki does. Thor cannot. He cannot even think about leaving Asgard without a rumble of thunder shaking the sky below them.)

Loki begins to dine with the family again, in order to avoid suspicion. 

(Thor insisted he did. Odin was growing wary of the amount of time Loki spent holed up in his chambers with Thor.)

"Your colouring seems off today, Loki.” 

His adoptive-mother sighs, rubbing the back of her hand against his cheek. Loki colours slightly and ducks his head.

"You are peaky. Do you wish to retire to your chambers and I shall send for the healer?"

(Loki wants to climb onto her lap as he had when he was a child. He wanted to rest against her breast and tell her everything.)

Thor standing up from the table broke Loki from his thoughts. 

"Come, brother. Some fresh air shall do you good."

Odin watched the gods with his good eye and nodded in approval.

“Yes. Call for The Warriors Three and teach your brother how to battle properly.” He mocked.

Loki nodded and smiled uneasily, standing to his feet with unsteady legs. 

"I think we shall. Good evening.” He said smoothly with a small bow.

He and Thor slowly leave the room, neither daring to look at the other for fear that would expose their secret.

\- - -

Loki and Thor climbed atop their horses and began the familiar trot out of Asgard. It is familiar and safe and Loki cannot help but wish that he could spend his pregnancy here and raise their child in their rightful kingdom.

“We shall return. Eventually.” Thor says with a smile.

(Loki does not reply. He cannot for fear that he may cry.)

They ride along side by side until they reach Heimdall who was guarding the Bifrost.

“Good evening, princes. It is a bit late in the eve to be wishing to visit Midgard, is it not?” 

Loki drops from his horse and offers Heimdall his most charming smile.

“It is Mother’s birthday in but a moon, as I am sure you know. We wish to purchase her something unique to Midgard.” 

Thor nods and lands alongside Loki with a beaming smile.

“It shan’t take but a few days. We wish to purchase her a gift from every country beginning with North America.”

(Loki is impressed by Thors quick thinking. Maybe the God of Thunder is not as slow as he had originally thought.)

Heimdall hesitates for a moment before stepping aside to allow the princes entry.

“Be careful.” He says with sad, kind eyes that speak volumes.

Thor blinks and nods slowly whereas Loki ducks his head and wills himself to remain calm.

“If he asks outright, I have no choice but to obey. Until that day, however, your secret is safe with me.” He announces.

And with that they are blasted off to Midgard.

Xox

Tony and Steve look up as a spontaneous thunderstorm begins to rage outside. Steve places his mug down on the coffee table and frowns.

“Um. Coaster!” Tony demands, elbowing the man beside him.

Steve shakes his head and stands to look out the large window as bolts of lightning began to crackle.

“Did Thor mention anything to you about maybe visiting tonight?” he asks slowly.

Tony shrugs and looks over his shoulder at the blinding light outside.

“No. But I mean, the guy kind of has a flair for the dramatics. So, arriving in a thunderstorm is probably his way of calling ahead.”

xox

They land on the roof of Stark Towers with an almighty crack. Thor waits for a moment, allowing for the clouds to clear slightly before beginning walking towards the door.

“Jarvis? It is I, Thor. Please tell Mr. Tony Stark of my arrival.” He announced.

Loki walked alongside Thor with his eyebrow raised. He hated Starks penchant for over-styling and showing off. They walk inside as Jarvis opens the back door for them. Tony, Steve and Clint are already standing by the breakfast bar with disbelieving looks on their faces.

“Um. Hi, Thunder Balls, it’s great to see you!” Tony exclaimed with a genuine grin. “Not so great to see Reindeer Games with you, but I’m guessing he’s not here by choice.

Loki smirked and bared his teeth at Tony.

“You guessed correctly, Metal Man.”

“It’s Ironman, but whatever.” Tony said with a shrug.

(And Thor cannot help but smile because as defensive as his friends may sometimes be, and as difficult as Loki always is, he can sense an understanding of sorts. A truce, perhaps.)

Wrong. 

Clint quickly snapped out his bow and arrow at Loki and aimed it right at his heart. Loki took a step back, almost hidden by Thors shadow.

“Please, my friends, I ask you to lower your weapons and listen to what it is I must say.”

Clint shook his head firmly.

“No, Thor. Brother or not, Loki is a war criminal and can’t be trusted. He invaded my body and he destroyed the city and then we just let him go? And for what? So you could just return with him whenever you pleased!” Clint exploded.

“Loki was punished. He has suffered for the pain he has caused. I do not ask for your forgiveness but I do ask that whilst my brother is here, with me, that you accept that.”

Tony sighed, looking at the earnest expression on Thors ridiculously open face.

“Sure.” He said with a shrug, causing the other two to turn and stare at him.

Thor laughed a booming laugh and crossed the room in four great strides to hug Tony tightly. 

“You are a great man, Tony Stark!”

Steve rolled his eyes as Tony hugged Thor back helplessly. Clint eyed Loki with clear disgust and didn’t lower his arrow once. Loki felt terribly exposed, like a nerve. He shifted from one foot to another, detesting his newfound vulnerability.

“Why should we accept him?” Clint demanded, his eyes locking with Loki’s sparkling emerald ones.

“Because you are a mere mortal who should bow before a prince.” Loki spat, quickly finding his voice.

“Because he is with child.” Thor said at the exact same moment, stepping out of his embrace with Tony, watching his friends honestly. “And the child is mine.”

A silence befell the group. Loki eyed them all uncertainly with his arms folded across his chest. Thor watched them with wide, hopeful eyes.

(Loki needed to protect their child. He needed to be accepted; otherwise they would have no choice but to flee Midgard as well.)

It was Tony that broke the silence first.

“Ok, I’m just totally going to bypass the fact that he’s your brother and um, focus on the fact that he is a he?”

Thor chuckled and nodded his head, whilst Loki rolled his eyes in clear disdain.

“Do Midgardians not read?” he snapped. “I am a Jotun. There are no female Jotuns therefore the males must be equipped to bear children.”

He watched as their eyes flew to his stomach. Steve looked at Loki curiously.

“How far along are you?”

“Two moons.” Thor announced with a huge smile. “There are but seven moons to go.”

Loki allowed himself a small, fond smile as the Avengers seemed to sigh in unison.

“So. Does that mean you two… Are you guys… Um.” Steve muttered, growing more flustered by the second.

Tony grinned and rolled his eyes.

“Have you guys been at it for centuries or is this whole God of Thunder and God of Mischief sex party a new development?”

Loki frowned and mouthed sex party? at Thor who just shrugged, clearly confused.

“Loki and I have loved each other for many centuries and we have been together for perhaps a millennia.” He explained.

Clint slowly lowered his bow with a look of complete and utter disbelief. Tony whistled and shook his head with a small smile.

“A millennia? And you guys still haven’t sorted out your differences? You guys are literally the meaning of dysfunctional.” 

Xox

(Loki had nearly started crying twice. Thor put it down to exhaustion and hormones.)

xox

Thor sighs heavily and inhales the fresh smell of Tony’s Egyptian cotton bed sheets. Loki wriggles closer to him, his usually alabaster complexion almost translucent with exhaustion. 

(Thor wants to touch his stomach.)

"Are you hungry?"

Loki shakes his head and keeps his eyes closed. 

"Tired."

(Thor needs to touch his stomach.)

"I could make something?"

Loki snorts, a strand of his black hair falling across his face.

"You cannot cook. We shall have to order food from the kitchens in the morning.”

Thor hums in response and allows his arm to slowly wrap itself around Lokis waist, his hand resting on his flat stomach. 

(It is like a magnet. His hand feels stuck there but also as if it were always meant to stay there.)

"You are being sentimental."

Thors eyes are closed but he can hear the smile in Lokis voice. 

He smiles against the back of Lokis head and soon both gods drift into a deep, dreamless sleep.

xox

Life with the Avengers is not exactly peaceful. Natasha and Clint cannot be in the same room as Loki which upsets Thor greatly. Also, Loki cannot be in the same room as Bruce, his mind constantly remembering how the beast had thrown him about as if he were nothing.

(And that terrifies Loki.)

But most mornings Loki rises to the smell of breakfast. Some mornings Tony cooks for him, one morning it was Ms. Potts but more often than not it is Thor.

(Loki does not have the heart to tell him that everything Thor tries to make tastes raw to him.)

"Breakfast?"

Loki nods and sits behind the breakfast bar, his pale, slender legs dangling. 

Thors cheeks are flushed and he has no shirt on. He has been training with the Avengers. Loki eyes his taut, bulging muscles and tries to ignore the heat pooling in his stomach.

(He is such a magnificent being.)

He hands Loki two pan-cakes, as Tony called them, and Loki quickly smears butter across them.

"You have a doctors appointment today. With Bruce." he announces casually as he takes a bite from his own breakfast. 

Loki stares at him, the lust he had been harboring suddenly turning to anger. 

"Pardon?" He hisses, deadly like a snake.

Thor smiles slowly, as if he cannot understand Lokis anger. Loki hates him.

(He is so bloody insufferable.)

"A doctors appointment. You are pregnant, you need to be checked-up."

Loki runs a hand over his face in disbelief. 

"By that beast? He shall harm the baby!"

Thor laughs and shakes his head.

“Nonsense. Banner has told me about a medical device that shall let us see inside your stomach, to show us how our child is faring!” he explains simply.

(Loki wants to throttle him.)

"I do not trust him.”

He says this through gritted teeth but Thor does not seem to notice. 

"But you do trust me, and I him."

Loki cannot remember when he became so submissive. He does not trust the beast.

(He is terrified of the beast.)

And yet he allows Thor to silence him. It feels strange. Thor takes a step forwards and wraps his arm around Lokis shoulders.

“I have vowed to you that I shall protect both you and our child. You must trust me to do this.”

Xox

Loki eyes Banner with great mistrust and the tension in the room is heavy. Thor stands beside Loki as he lays down on the table and pulls up his t-shirt to reveal a slightly swollen stomach.

(Thor thinks that it is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.) 

"It's going to be cold." Banner says cautiously as he squeezes the tube over Loki’s stomach.

The jelly is freezing. Loki flinches a little and Thor smiles at him fondly. Bruce glides the ultra sound device across his stomach and turns to watch the monitor. 

(Thor is squeezing Lokis hand very tightly. It makes Loki want to laugh aloud.)

"There it is." Bruce said simply.

Thor leans so close to the monitor his nose nearly touches the screen and Bruce laughs softly.

"A son?"

The doctor nods. 

"Congratulations."

Loki tugs at the back of Thors t-shirt.

"A boy?" he breathes.

"It is a boy!” Thor all but bellows.

Loki closes his eyes for a moment and grins broadly. He hears the Bruce leave the room and Thor bounce around excitedly. When he opens his eyes again, they are both crying. 

(They decide to blame it on the hormones and a rush of adrenaline.)

xox

They make love that night. The first time since they had left Asgard.

(So five weeks, two days, seventeen hours, twenty-two minutes and thirty-seven seconds.)

It is different now, Thor realizes as they lie in the mess of tangled sheets and limbs. Before he needed to lose himself. He needed to bury his face in the crook of Lokis neck and moan as loud as he possibly could. 

(Only Loki could make him moan aloud. No else had ever gotten close enough to even try.)

What they had just done... It hadn't been the desperate fucking of two men, unsure of when they would next meet again. It had been deliciously slow; it had made stars burst out from behind Thors closed eyes. It had been soft and gentle and all-consuming. Thor pulls the slighter man closer and drops a kiss onto his warm, pale shoulder.

“I love you.”

Xox

Loki is halfway through his second trimester once the morning sickness occurs. It happens quite suddenly one morning whilst he is alone in the living room reading. His stomach churns a few times and he is forced to put down his book in order to place his hands on his swollen stomach to soothe the child.

“Hush.” He whispers soothingly, closing his eyes and focussing on the being inside him.

(A futile attempt, really.)

Next thing, Loki is racing for the sink and vomiting everywhere. He heaves and retches for what feels like hours, until Clint steps into the room and looks at him in surprise.

“Jesus. Are you okay?” he asks anxiously as Loki clutches onto the sink for dear life.

“Bleurgh.” Comes his reply.

Clint sighs unsurely and the crosses the room in order to hold Lokis matted hair. There are chunks of vomit everywhere and Clint wants to run out of the room screaming.

(He doesn’t though, because Thor is his friend and at the end of the day this child didn’t ask to be borne by Loki.)

He stands by Loki until the god has no more liquids to heave. Tony enters just as Clint is supporting the God of Mischief across the room towards the living room.

“Don’t even.” He growls as Loki chuckles weakly.

Tony holds up his hands in mock ignorance and shrugs his shoulders.

“Wasn’t going to open my mouth.”

Xox

They spend the rest of the pregnancy hidden in Stark Towers. There are no messages from Odin, no thunderstorms of rage or anything that would put the gods on high alert.

(Everything is fine. Fine.)

Thor works with the Avengers by doing press conferences and endorsing merchandise. It is not something he enjoys and he constantly feels guilty for abandoning Loki.

(It is mundane, it is boring, it is everything Thor promised himself he would never do.)

So. This is what it's like to be a Midgardian.

xox

Soon Loki reaches seven months and Thor decides, with the help of Natasha, to throw a baby-shower. It is only themselves and the Avengers but Thor tries to make it as special as possible. He spoils Loki with gifts and attention and everyone, including Clint, is on their best behaviour in a bid to please the silver-tongued prince.

(He does not say anything, but Loki is sad.)

He sits in silence and Thor does not like the distance between them. They have not slept together in nearly two months. Loki does not even allow Thor to see him topless anymore. 

"I love you." He whispers softly as the others chatter and drink merry Midgardian ale.

(He can hear the desperation in his own voice. It makes his insides turn.)

"I know."

Their eyes meet and Thor cannot help but notice that Loki does not return the sentiment. 

"Do you still love me?"

(He knows it is clingy. He knows it is desperate and exactly the opposite of what Vogue magazine has been telling him he should do.)

Loki pushes his plate of untouched cakes away and shrugs his shoulders. 

"I do not know."

xox

Thor trains and works seven days a week. When he gets up, Loki is asleep. When he comes home, Loki is asleep. 

(It is too much. But he promised he would do anything.)

xox

It is December and Loki is due any day now. Thor arrives home late one evening with the Avengers and finds that Loki, for once, is still awake. 

(For the first time in weeks.)

"I cannot bring a baby into this." He declares as Thor steps into their bedroom.

Thor snorts.

"Banner has informed me that he shall come regardless."

Loki narrows his eyes dangerously and Thor feels guilty.

(He always feels guilty. Always.)

"We need to sort this. Tonight."

Thor slips into his side of the bed and folds his arms across his firm chest.

"Sort what? There is nothing to sort."

Loki sighs heavily and closes his eyes, obviously counting to ten.

"Really? Do you honestly believe that, Thor? Do not be dense!”

(Of course not. He just wants to go to sleep.)

"I do not think you need to 'sort' anything with me. I am not the one who has a problem, Loki. I try to love you and you still hate me.” Thor stated softly, brokenly.

The silence that follows is deafening. 

"Do you really have to try to love me?"

Lokis voice is poisonous.

"Yes."

(He tries so hard. He tries to make everything perfect.)

Loki rolls over in the bed, turning his back to Thor.

"I do not hate you."

"But you do not love me."

"Either do you.”

xox

On the twenty-fifth of December Freyr Alvis Odinson of Asgard is born. Thor is not there. Loki did not tell him and forbid Banner from doing the same.

(Loki does not know why he did not tell him.)

As an apology he lets Thor name their child. 

(Well, he allows him to choose from a shortlist of three.)

Little Freyr is blonde with Lokis eyes. He is beautiful. He is perfect.

(He's so unlucky to be born into this, this constant wringing of hands, to this dark ceiling without a star)

xox

 

Loki and Freyr appear in the living room a few hours after Loki has healed himself with his magic.

(And some Midgardian medicine, courtesy of Dr. Banner.)

There is a little dusting of snow on the top of their tower and Loki feels his throat close up when he enters the room to see a Christmas tree with a tiny bundle of presents placed underneath.

(There was a time when he believed himself above all mortals. Oh, how wrong he had been.)

"Santa came." 

Loki smiles down at the oblivious Freyr and then looks back up at Tony. 

"Really? And did this ridiculous man bring anything for me?"

Tony winked and grinned, wrapping his arm around Pepper, who was smiling at up at her man fondly.

"Of course he did. He’s waiting in your quarters. I found him in a bar drinking by the barrel.”

Loki bows his head in thanks and makes his way to their chambers. He gently places Freyr in his new cot and strides across the room to Thor, crashing his lips against his and holds on as tightly as he dares. They become lost in a tangle of bed sheets and limbs and soon all that fills their room is the sound of their harsh breathing as they kiss each other breathlessly. 

(Loki knows that he is crying but he cannot tell where his tears begin and Thors end.)

He pulls away and grabs Thors damp cheeks in his shaking hands. 

"You. You, Thor Odinson, are the greatest god I know. And I am sorry for everything. I am sorry that I hurt you and I am sorry that I treated you like you did not matter because you do. You do and you always will."

(Loki wishes that Thor could love him like before. He wishes he had not destroyed such a beautiful thing.)

Thor kisses the palm of Lokis hand and smiles up at him with bruised lips.

"Let me hold our son.”

….

End


End file.
